The Rhythm of Instability
by cyanidemayhem
Summary: AU: Something changed inside Bella when the Cullen's left. It was a trigger, something that was genetically wired within her. Nobody could have foreseen what was to come. It wasn't until she was diagnosed that the previous year, and what was to come, had all made sense.
1. Prolouge

**Prologue**

Fighting to stay alive has always been a physical phenomenon for me. That is, until now. I never plagued myself to fall into the category of a heartbroken girl who couldn't get over their dramatic high school love.

It was a normal thing to experience; heartbreak. I just never knew it could of happened to me.

But the difference between the others my age and me lies with the fact that my life has been anything but normal: that much became clear to me when I moved to Forks.

I entered into a fairy-tale, one where vampires were not all bad and roamed freely with humans. I fell in love, and I fell hard. I had a family who (I thought) were going to be my forever. I guess my definition of forever was different than theirs.

That day in the forest when my life ended, I felt a shift inside my soul. A shift that was always there but, had never noticed. I didn't know what it was until after those horrid months that came to follow Edward leaving.

After the months of severe depression followed by a high of manic happiness that lasted for weeks and then continuing on in an endless cycle of ups and downs.

I assumed I was moving on the day I woke up in bliss. Charlie thought their leaving was the best thing that could have happened to me and for once, I agreed with him. Lauren and Jessica became the friends that I never knew I needed the most. We experienced life in a way I never had before. I loved the adrenaline; the carefree spirit that arose within me. I felt alive which was something I hadn't felt for a long time.

Then it all changed again in a blink of an eye.

The depression hit again, this time worse than the first.

I knew I was losing the battle to stay alive: I was losing my will to live. Emotionally, Mentally, Physically and Spiritually drained.

It was my personal hell.

That's when I was diagnosed.

Manic Depressive Disorder, or as some call is, Bipolar.


	2. Chapter 1

October

November

December

January

Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me.

**Chapter One: Awakened**

The sound of birds chirping woke me up from the heavy sleep I was lulled behind. I groaned, rolling onto my back while covering my eyes with my arm. I felt a smile stretch across my face, the motion so alien to me I paused for the briefest moment. Shock coursed through my veins as my brain registered the foreign emotions pouring out of me. I was happy. No. Scratch that, I was elated to be alive and awake.

Hurrying to remove my arm that was slung across my face, I opened my eyes and noticed the rays of sun peeking through the curtains on my window. I leapt out of bed without another thought and sprinted across the short distance of my room to rip open the curtains. Sunlight poured into my bedroom, seeming to touch all the corners I thought to have been dark and lonesome just the night before.

Without wasting another breath, I moved to unlock the window, pushing it as far open as the (now) rusty hinges allowed for. The air seemed to dance on my skin and as I closed my eyes and inhaled; I could smell the world, what seemed to be, for the first time. I listened to the birds singing, their wings making the lightest sounds as they moved through the air. I felt another smile creep its way onto my face and I turned to look in the mirror next to the window.

I looked happy. I looked different, and I absolutely loved that.

For the briefest moment I pondered what had changed. I barely remembered the previous months, choosing to trudge along with the steady flow of life instead of embracing it. I almost frowned in the thought of having been so... dead to the world. I haven't the slightest idea why but I know that from this moment on, my days of having moped over Edward were over.

Edward.

His name almost pulled at the strings in my heart but for some reason, I couldn't let myself spend one more aching second not being happy.

Humming a lively tone I skipped into the bathroom, hearing Charlie rustling in the kitchen downstairs. His actions paused momentarily but soon picked back up as I closed the door behind me. I hurried getting ready, not wanting to wait to say hi to him before he left for work.

For the first time in a long time, I put effort into what I looked like. I cared about my happy appearance staring at me through the mirror. Grinning, I quickly showered and blow-dried my hair, keeping it down so it flowed over my shoulders. It looked like it had lost its shine. I promised myself I'd get it back. I applied minimal makeup, only to bring out the joy I felt, in my eyes.

Satisfied with my work, I turned to my room to choose my clothes. Light skinny jeans and a light purple shirt, loving the way they made me feel so happy.

For what seemed like the 10th time this morning, I paused to wonder as to why I was feeling so cheerful but hearing Charlie make his way up the stairs didn't leave me any time to dwell on the nonexistent sadness. I threw open the door as his feet hit the landing upstairs.

Grinning, I greeted him. "Morning, Dad."

Silence followed my outburst. He said nothing.

Not hesitating, I grabbed my backpack off the floor by the door and stepped around him to make my way downstairs. I could feel his eyes following me the entire way down but not worried about him, I made my way into the kitchen, finding myself humming the same tune as earlier.

As I ate my breakfast I heard the soft, hesitant steps on the creaky stairs. Charlie's confused face came into view after a minute and I smiled widely at him again, putting down a magazine I was invested in.

"Bells?" Charlie said as he looked at me in the same way as earlier.

"What's up Dad?"

Charlie seemed struck again by an unknown force as he listened to me speak. His expression wavered into one of disbelief as his eyes combed me over.

"Are yo-are you okay?" He eventually got out between strained expressions.

"Yeah of course Dad! I've never been better," I replied smiling as I got up to wash my bowl.

I heard footsteps behind me, following me into the kitchen while I made quick work of cleaning my dishes. When I turned around, Charlie's eyes seemed to be glistening as he stared at me hard.

"Well I'm headed off to class now. I have to get there early to talk to Jessica. I was hoping she'd be up for planning something to do later this week, so I'll catch you when you get home from work! What do you want for dinner? I was thinking of heading to the grocery store to pick up some groceries. I'm thinking of lasagna or maybe pot roast? I don't know, I'll just get things to make everything! Have a good day at work Dad, love you!"

I had put on my shoes, grabbed my bag and made my way to the door in the span of my talking. Charlie followed me with every movement I made and as I pulled out of the driveway, he was still standing, unmoving on the porch, looking at me in my truck with an expression I didn't recognize.

I shrugged and continued on my way to the school, my truck groaning as I pushed it to arrive faster in my excitement.

Smiling in eagerness to talk to my friends I found a spot quickly and exited my truck, tucking a stray chunk of hair behind my ear as it rustled in the breeze. I spotted my Jessica a few rows in front me, surrounding all the people that I made friends with here in Forks.

Making my way to the group, all of their chatting stopped abruptly as they noticed me walking towards them. Sporting a huge grin I stopped when I reached them while letting out an excited "Hi!"

The only thing I received was silence. They all stared and I began talking, too elated to notice their dumbstruck expressions.

"So I was thinking that since we haven't done anything for awhile, it'd be nice to got out and have fun! I was thinking Port Angeles but maybe you all could come over to my house this weekend too! My Dad is heading out for an extended weekend of fishing so I think it'd be so cool if you all came over." I continued blabbing on about plans I had in mind as they all continued their staring.

I noticed a small smile forming with Angela and I couldn't help but smile widely back in return.

My nonstop chatter was interrupted by Jessica.

"Wait wait wait. Hold on a minute. You want to hang out. With us?" I nodded quickly and shifted on my feet.

"Yeah, I just think we should start bonding more before the year is over. This is our last semester you know and pretty soon we won't see each other anymore when we go our separate ways to college. I thought it'd be fun to make more memories." Silence.

I was met with the same reaction I had from Charlie. My smile almost dropped as I realized that maybe they didn't want the same thing I did. I felt myself wavering as we all continued the staring contest.

Angela eventually broke the silence by stepping forward and linking her arm with mine. "I think that's a great idea Bella."

Her words were hesitant yet reassuring and we began to make our way inside, talking about the ideas I had in mind. The others trailed behind seeming lost for words until Lauren interrupted with a scoff.

"Are you on drugs Bella?"

Everyone paused again, turned to me from her and waited for my response. It took me by surprise and I couldn't answer, the words lost in my mouth. Without skipping a beat she continued.

"Seriously though are you taking drugs? You turned into a freaking zombie after Edward left, not speaking to any of us and pretending we don't exist. Then you just show up looking high off your mind, skipping, smiling and wanting to make plans with us? I mean, I didn't even see you act this happy around Edward, let alone the friends you've always brushed aside for him. It just doesn't make sense."

The other's eyes switched from watching Lauren speak to my astonished expression. They waited, Lauren raising her eyebrows as she watched for any reaction from me.

Drugs? She thought I was on drugs? I almost laughed. I have never even tasted alcohol let alone know where I'd get any type of drug from. My happiness was appearing to have the opposite effect on others as it was on me. I'll admit, me being giddy is definitely a huge step up from what I have been going through but can't they see that it doesn't matter? I'm happy for the first time in so long and even though I have no idea where it came from, I know that I'm not going to just let it go.

After a minute of silence and thinking I smiled and laughed quietly.

"No Lauren, I'm not on drugs. Far from it actually. I know I was in bad shape when the Cullen's up and rooted themselves out of my life without the slightest care for me but I'm over being sad about it. I don't want to be that pathetic girl chasing after people who don't give two shits about her. Edward is an asshole and I'm just sick of not spending my time being happy." I paused momentarily as my words registered in my brain. I knew that they held nothing but the truth and I almost burst in happiness knowing I was moving on and becoming alive again. "I just thought I'd share my happiness with my friends."

I shocked them again. Lauren's and Jessica's mouths hung open as they openly gawked me. Angela gave my arm a squeeze and I glanced over to her gazing at me with a proud look. It was Mike who broke the silence this time by letting out a laugh.

"Well I'll be damned," Mike chortled, swinging his arm around my shoulders. "Our girl is back!"

I got grins from everyone in the group, surprisingly even Lauren and Jessica.

The rest of my school day continued in the same matter. I'd speak up in class, getting the attention from the students around me and the teachers, while they all looked at me in surprise. Lunch time was by far the most enjoyable time I've had in forever. My friends and I caught up and I listened and laughed at numerous stories thrown at me.

We made plans for Friday, having decided that we'd go to the movies after school and then head back to my house where everyone was invited to stay the night. I was glanced at with shocked looks in the hall, in the classrooms and just about at every point of the day but nothing deterred my mood.

I got home around 4:00, after stopping at the grocery store to pick up the right things to make a massive lasagna. I had the bright idea to invite Billy and Jake over while I was grabbing noodles off the shelf.

After a brief conversation with Billy on the phone, he agreed to bring Jake over for dinner at 6:30 when Charlie was off. He too seemed stumped over words as he listened to me prattle on about dinner.

Everyone seemed so surprised that I wasn't heartbroken anymore. To be honest, it probably surprised me the most but for some odd reason, my mind wouldn't let me feel anything but utter happiness.

Dinner went by even more amazing then I could have hoped for. Charlie and Billy prattled on about the Mariner's winning streak while Jake captured my attention with stories from the Rez. I made him promise that he'd introduce me to his friends soon, which he agreed full heartedly.

Charlie's looks of awe never let up throughout dinner and when Billy and Jake finally called it a night at 9:00, he stopped me before I could make my way upstairs.

"Bells, I don't know what brought this new attitude on but I couldn't be more grateful," he got out before he choked on his words.

"I don't know why either, Dad. All I know is that I'm sick of being depressed. I'm so tired of feeling worthless and I think my heart agrees with me. I've turned a new leaf and I couldn't be happier."

I had never seen my Dad as emotional as he looked at this moment. No words were needed as he pulled me into a tight hug, kissing the top of my hair as his shoulders relaxed.

Laying in bed that night, I processed the last 24 hours in my head. I had gone to sleep the night before in a trance, focusing on the gushing pain that leaked from my chest.

Tonight, I fell asleep with a smile on my face and not a trace of sadness.

Life was looking up, and I'd be damned if I spent another moment not seizing the day.


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Revival**

The days that followed my new revelation were nothing short of bliss. My relationship with my friends grew strong as we discovered the lost connection we had. I had always believed Lauren, and Jessica too, to be quite self-centered but I came to realize that it was far from the truth. In the short span of days, they taught me how to laugh again, how to enjoy myself and have fun.

I had been missing out on living the life I was given.

I had this bursting energy within me and sometimes I didn't know what to do with it but I found things to take up my time. I started a journal, writing down every detail about my days. The first night I uncapped my pen, I wrote until the sun rose, never seeming to have tired. I wrote until the ink wore out and then grabbed another pen, continuing my thoughts.

When I wasn't journaling I was doing homework, cooking and cleaning, organizing the house, as it hadn't been done in a long time. I wandered throughout Forks, finding corners I never knew existed, valuing the beauty of the undiscovered. I found that I couldn't stay dormant: I always wanted to do more. Most importantly, I spent as much time as I could with my friends.

Not only was it my friends from Forks aiding my joy but I found myself drawn closer to Jacob as he showed me around his life on the Rez.

I drove down to meet with him Wednesday afternoon and was met with a warm bear hug. He was quick to introduce me to the grinning boys behind him.

"Bella, this is Quil and Embry."

Quil was the first to step up, grabbing my hand while pretending to curtsy.

"My lady. Our dear friend Jake hasn't shut up about you since Monday. I can't say I'm the least bit surprised, I mean look at you, but his obsession with you has grown pretty annoying."

Jake blushed a deep red and threw himself at his friend.

I giggled loudly as they wrestled on the ground while Embry casually leaned against my truck.

"The immaturity of these two. I just can't believe it." I saw the subtle flex of his muscles when he said this, causing me to laugh loudly again.

"Oh shut up Embry, stop trying to impress the lady!" Quil yelled as Jake put him in a headlock.

That evening I was given a tour of the Reservation, sad that I had never taken the time to come down and see it all before now. It was quaint and serene, holding an aura that I had never noticed before. I loved it.

We wandered the streets, waving at the friendly neighbors and watching as the boys got into every bit of trouble they could get their hands on.

Eventually we ended up at First Beach, after I told them I had never seen a bonfire. I stared into the flames, awestruck at the colors dancing into the air above our heads. Our conversations flowed freely as we laughed and joked around, acting like we'd known each other forever.

Out of the blue, Quil asked a question that left Jake and Embry silent, the tension rising from them all as they waited for me to speak.

"So Bella what's it like now that the Cullen's are gone?"

I wasn't stumped over words but it took me a minute to ask, "What exactly do you mean?"

"Well, we all heard the rumors about, you know. What happened after they left."

Jake leaned over and pushed Quil's arm, whispering to shut up.

"Don't worry about it Jake. Everyone's been more than curious about that. To answer though, nothing's wrong. Honestly, I realize now that I was suffocating under their family, always compliant, always doing the right thing by their terms. It was tiresome. I got over being treated like an overgrown toy and decided to change. It's been nothing but amazing since then."

Our conversation changed direction as Jake steered us away from my past. They started ranting about a few of the guys on the Rez. I recognized the name Sam, but the others I had no clue.

"No seriously though, they just follow him around like he's their ringleader."

"Sam just snaps his fingers and Paul and Jared go out pleasing him. It's a little gay."

"Yeah it's just... creepy. And the weirdest thing is how they all look like they underwent a second puberty."

"How so?" I asked, intrigued with Sam and his supposed followers.

"They're all well over 6 foot, ripped and huge. They act like they run the Rez now. What's even stranger is my Dad. When I brought it up to him he said 'One day soon you'll know. Don't be quick to judge Jacob.' He was so ominous about it-it freaked me out. The whole thing is just crazy."

"Speak of the devil and his advocates," Embry murmured, looking off into the distance over my shoulder.

I turned, my eyes landing on three shirtless, massive figures walking along the beach in our direction. They didn't stop as they passed us but Sam looked at Jake and gave him a small nod of his head. One of the others, Paul or Jared, entire body twitched as he walked by. Sam's eyes turned to me as we made contact. I saw so many emotions beneath the surface: anger, resentment, pity. They seemed to be having a battle with each other. I wonder if he was remembering pulling me out of the forest.

We sat in silence until they were out of view.

"Well," I started, turning my focus back on the guys, "That wasn't weird at all."

"Did you see the way he looked at you Jake? What was that nod about?"

"I have no idea," Jake said, shaking his head slowly.

Another hour passed, a little tense after our [somewhat] encounter with Sam and his goons. As I said my goodbyes while climbing into my truck, I remembered Friday night.

"Hey guys, some of my friends and I are heading to PA on Friday and then coming back to my house after: Charlie is going fishing with his buddies from the station and I'd love it if you came."

I gave them the details and they excitedly agreed to meet me Friday afternoon.

Thursday passed on quickly. I worked on a paper that was due Friday and made Charlie steak and potatoes for dinner. We talked about school and his work, the awkward tension that was always there in the past, nowhere to be found.

"What do you have planned for this weekend? I don't have to go fishing if you want me to stay here. We could figure out something to do instead."

"No Dad, don't worry about it! Go and catch a lot of fish for us. I invited some friends over tomorrow night anyways, I hope you don't mind. You'd probably cramp the mood if you stayed anyway," I laughed out.

Charlie gave me a pointed look, though seemed happy when I said I was inviting my friends over.

"Alright Bells but remember, this is the Chiefs house. Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"What exactly is it that you wouldn't do, Charlie?" We both laughed at this, settling back into watching a game playing on TV.

"Hey Dad?" I asked after a picture of Sam's eyes flashed into my mind.

"Yeah Bells?"

"Do you know of anything weird going on with some of the guys on the reservation? Jake and his friends told me some things that were going on and they just seem... different. They're kind of freaked out about some of the things these guys are doing. Their names are Sam, Jared and Paul."

"Well, I haven't heard of any bad things pertaining to them but I'll ask around and see if I can find out anything. Don't worry about it though, Bells. I'm sure it's just guys being guys."

Friday morning I woke up bright and early, finding a note from Charlie reminding me to behave this weekend. I got to school, finding everyone else in good moods that matched my own, only adding to my giddiness.

The day went by quickly and I soon found myself in the lot of Newton Outfitters with everyone waiting for Jake and the boys to show. When they pulled up, I quickly did introductions and we were off. I was riding with the boys from the Rez as well as Mike while the other car held Tyler, Ben, Jessica, Angela and Lauren.

The car ride consisted of terrible Karaoke, no thanks to Mike and Jake as they belted out Avril Lavigne. I had tears running down my face as we pulled up to a local theatre in PA, having watched Jake finish his rendition of 'What the Hell.'

"He's cute," Lauren laughed as we followed behind the group of teenage boys who were all belting the chorus.

"Do you two have a thing, Bella?" Angela asked while giving me a sly look.

"Oh no, it's not like that. Jake and I are just friends, we have been since I was little. He's like the brother I've never had."

"Well I don't think he feels the same way about you," Jessica added as Jake turned around and made funny faces at me, causing me to stick my tongue out at him in retaliation.

"I swear, you guys make me act like a child again." The profane jibes came at me in all directions and I laughed until my eyes held tears again.

Throughout the movie, my friends made horrible comments about the actors while we threw countless amounts of popcorn at each other. About halfway through, a worker came in and asked my loud group to kindly leave, as we were 'disrupting the peace.'

They boys all found this hilarious as we were escorted out of the room, bumping into each other and making a scene.

I couldn't help but laugh. I few months ago I probably would have gone red and apologized profusely but now, I just linked arms with Jess and Ange and laughed hysterically as we walked to the cars.

"That was- the funniest- thing I've ever seen," Tyler got out between his chuckles.

"Did you see the managers face when Quil asked for a refund since we 'didn't get to see the whole movie?'"

"I don't think we're ever going to be allowed back here after tonight," Angela said, somewhat amused, somewhat nervous.

"Its okay Ange, next time we'll just have to take an extended trip to Seattle to watch a movie instead. Don't worry, I won't let you go without the pleasures of movie watching."

This was the first time I heard Ben speak directly to Angela since we got here, despite the shy glances they shared. I nudged Angela who was blushing scarlet. Yeah, they definitely had something going on but I'd pry it out of her later. Lauren and Jess shared the same look with me as we glanced from Angela to Ben, Lauren wiggling her eyebrows while doing this, causing Angela to flush with color again.

We clamored into the cars and sped down the highway towards Forks.

"So Bella, is this just a get together or are we going to party it up?!" Mike asked me from the front seat.

I laughed in response. "Whatever everyone else wants. Just us though, I don't feel comfortable inviting all of the teenage population of Forks into the Chiefs house; my Dad would kill me."

I had been thinking over the past few days about alcohol and drugs and what Lauren had asked me Monday. It wasn't a secret that I was pretty close to clueless when it came to the drug realm but I couldn't stop myself from thinking of what experimenting would mean for me. Renee had always pushed me to get out of my comfort zone and try things that I normally wouldn't do. I haven't had much success with that but recently decided, I know that I want to go out on a limb and take my shot at it.

Definitely not tonight, even though I was feeling quite rambunctious at the moment. Something was holding me back from deciding on anything too crazy but teenagers drink alcohol and that's a start.

I discussed with Mike about where we'd get the liquor and he informed me that his older cousin was in town and could go get whatever we wanted.

We reached my house in under an hour and all 10 of us crammed our way into the living room, sitting in various positions from the floor to the couch, and the kitchen chairs I had brought in earlier.

Mike and I filled everyone in on our plan and we got feedback on which drinks would be the most fulfilling for all of us.

Lauren and Jessica found my Dad's stereo system and quickly turned on some upbeat and recent pop music.

I found myself dancing on the couch with Angela as we laughed.

"Bella?" Angela asked me quietly as the others continued socializing and dancing around my living room.

"Yeah, Ange?"

"Are you really okay?" She asked again in hushed tones so the others couldn't hear our conversation.

"I'm really okay," I said back as I gave her a light hug. "I've never felt happier than I have in this last week."

Angela looked at me over her glasses and lightly hugged me back, then released me as she took a step back.

"I'm so relieved to hear that Bella. I was so worried about you."

I just gave her another smile, trying to convey with my eyes that everything was more than fine.

No one seemed to notice our quiet heart-to-heart besides Jake, who was standing a few feet away looking at me apprehensively. He met my eyes with his and I couldn't help but notice how handsome he was as he flashed me a wide smile. His eyes, a deep brown, holding me captive as we conveyed unknown feelings between ourselves.

The connection was broken as the door burst open followed by, "Hands up partiers! It's time to get wild!"

Mike skipped into the living room with two bags full of beer, tequila and juice, for what I assumed to be the chaser (as my Mom told me many years ago.)

In no time, drinks were divided out amongst my friends and before I knew it, I was holding the repellant liquor in a small glass.

If someone told me a month ago that this is where I'd be, I would have told them they were delusional.

"Before we get started, I'd like to say a few words," Mike said as he hoisted himself up onto a chair. "I'd like to thank our host and dear friend Bella, as she ever so kindly invited all of you crack heads into her home." Tyler chucked a pillow at his head when he said this.

"Stop being so dramatic Mike, I'm ready to get this party started!" Tyler shouted.

"Okay, okay, sheesh. As I was saying, Bella has brought us all together as friends and I couldn't think of anyone who I'd rather be with then the lot of you! I'd also like to bring to your attention that this is Bella's first time ever drinking and it's only fair that she takes the first shot!"

"Hear, hear!"

Cheers rang out through the room as everyone looked at me expectantly. Smiling, I quickly brought the small glass to my mouth and downed the horrifying liquid. I choked and sputtered quickly after and was met with the sound of laughing from my friends. I found the juice and flushed the burning taste of tequila from my throat.

The music was turned back on and I was swept away into the night. I didn't drink much, choosing sobriety over the drunken state that many of my friends have already began to show.

At one point, Embry had challenged Tyler to a contest of who could drink the most beer in 30 seconds. Embry won with an impressive 6 as Tyler grumbled about bad genes.

The night went on and eventually, Jess, Lauren and even Angela, stumbled their way upstairs to my bed. I was surprised at first on how much Angela was drinking but soon realized that her and Ben kept sharing their secret looks. I concluded that she was drinking because he was drinking, and probably vice-versa.

I helped Ben take a passed-out Mike and Tyler to Mike's car around 4:30 am. Ben was sober enough to drive them home instead to figuring out where everyone was going to sleep tonight. I hadn't thought that part through in the planning.

When I stepped back inside, I was met with a sight I will never forget. Jake and Quil were out cold on the sofa, hugging each other from an interesting angle. I barely stifled my giggles as I stepped around a sleeping Embry to pull out my camera and snap a picture of the two.

They were going to kill me when they saw this.

I didn't feel the slightest bit tired, a feeling I noticed becoming more prevalent since Monday. I passed it off on the happiness with my life and a bit because of the alcohol.

For a few hours, I cleaned the house around my sleeping friends and found myself sitting on the back porch as the sun rose. I busied myself in my journal, documenting the countless times Jake had ran into the wall and Mike had tripped over the carpet.

I must have dozed off at some point because when I opened my eyes, my journal rest beside me and the sun was high in the sky.

I walked inside, finding the noise that had woken me up. Jake was sitting up staring at Quil's lifeless form draped around him. I couldn't help but laugh.

The rest of the day was spent saying goodbye to my hungover friends as they thanked me for an awesome time, making promises to do this next weekend as well.

Sunday I woke up early. Surprisingly, the clock next to my bed read 4:00 am. Not feeling tired, I busied myself around the house.

When Charlie got home around noon, his voice called for me downstairs.

"Wow Bella, the house looks great," he said as took off his boots, "What, did you clean because of the party you threw?" Charlie asked as he saw the spotless house around him.

"No Dad," I said giggling, "I've just been cleaning the last few days trying to find things to do with my energy."

I received texts from my friends throughout the rest of the day, again thanking me for having them over. Tyler told us in the group chat that next weekend was his turn to host since his parents were leaving to visit his older sister in Oregon. I was happy to see Jake and the boy's names included.

I made plans to hangout on the Rez Tuesday and when I shared this news with Charlie Sunday night, a knowing smile stretched beneath his mustache.

"You're making a lot of plans to see Jake, huh Bella?"

"Dad it's not just Jake. It's Quil and Embry I'm excited about seeing too. Those guys are really funny. Not to mention all my other friends from school."

"Uh-huh, sure Bella, keep telling yourself that."

My week started so differently then the week before, and obviously the week before that. No one did double takes at my laughing and my teachers gave me acceptant beams as they graded my perfect work.

Tuesday was spent bonding with the boys. I learned more and more about them as they taught me cars, not that I retained anything relatively important. We ate out at a small local cuisine and was introduced to more people from the Rez while talking about the upcoming weekend, as Tyler was hosting our newly-found friend group Friday evening. They all told me how much they enjoyed spending time with the 'pale-faces,' as Quil put it.

I brought up the idea of fixing some dirt bikes I saw by a garbage can in front of a house while driving earlier. Jake and Quill eagerly agreed as they started planning where we'd get the parts from.

I found myself engrossed in quiet conversation with Embry while the other two talked dirt bikes.

"Its weird though. They keep looking at me. I feel like I'm being followed wherever I go."

"So Sam has been giving you weird looks? And Paul is monitoring you around school? That is strange. I wonder what it means," I said as I thought back to our last conversation about them on the beach. I was definitely going to have Charlie look into it now; these boys reeked trouble.

"I've been feeling weird too. I've grown about 2 inches in the last few weeks alone and I get these random hot flashes. I don't want to be anything like them Bella, I just don't know what's happening."

"Don't worry Embry, you're probably just stressed about school and work. You won't turn out like them if you don't want to."

Eventually Embry included himself in the conversation of bikes, although seeming lost in his own world.

I couldn't shake the feeling I got from talking to Embry. It didn't make sense to me. The whole situation was absurd, especially that he believed them to be watching him. It briefly reminded me of the Cullen's, although I have no clue why.

My inner thoughts were disrupted by my phone ringing, Charlie telling me it was time to head home especially on a school night.

I dismissed all negative thoughts about Sam and his tribe as I drove home.

I just couldn't help but think that things were about to start changing, and I didn't want that one bit.

**Author's Note:**

**Hi people who are reading (at least I hope there's people reading.) I just wanted to let you know how this story is going to go. I'll most likely update every 1-3 days since it is summer and classes don't start back up until the end of August. It's my first attempt at writing and if anyone notices errors, please feel free to message me.**

**This story has been on my mind for years now and I just decided the other night to write about it.**

**For those of you wondering why Bella is acting so differently than she did in the books: read the prologue. I don't want to spoil anything but Bipolar disorder changes a person in ways one can't imagine. That's the reason for Bella's random personality change when she woke up in chapter one. Obviously she doesn't know it now but hang tight, this story will get juicy in the next chapter or two and will lead onto the main plot. **

**If anyone has any questions or feedback, I'd love to hear it. **

**Keep reading because even I am stoked on where I'm taking this story.**

**Lots of love,**

**cyanidemayhem**


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Fallout**

After my conversation with Embry, I made Charlie promise that he'd look more into the situation.

It wasn't until Thursday evening that he brought it to my attention again, although it hadn't left my mind in the last few days.

"I talked to Billy today about those kids from the Rez," Charlie said while rubbing a hand across his face. He looked tired but the station was keeping him occupied. There had been a report of an animal attack from a few towns over and he had made it his responsibility to help in anyway he could.

I convinced myself that these animal attacks were different this time around, because I knew what some 'animal attacks' actually meant, even if no one else did. It wasn't possible though. That time of my life was over and all vampires were far from forks.

Charlie continued, "He basically told me to mind my own business and that what happened on the reservation wasn't the business of Forks or anyone else other than their own people."

I processed this information quietly, wondering what was forcing Billy to be so uptight with his best friend. I can't say I'm not surprised. Billy always had this way of being uptight.

"I don't think you have to worry though Bells. Billy told me that those boys have done nothing but right for their people. He mentioned something about being the people's 'protectors' from the bad in the world. It doesn't make much sense because they don't seem to have much to be protected from but they come from a different culture than us. It all appears to be harmless so I wouldn't worry about it anymore."

Protectors. The familiarity from that word stirred unease beneath my surface. I had heard it before but I couldn't remember exactly where from.

I texted Embry later to tell him what Charlie had told me but I didn't get any response back. I figured I'd just talk to him tomorrow.

By the time Friday came, I was more than ready to get out of the house and spend time in the presence of my friends and more-so, talk to Embry about what Charlie said, but by that evening, Embry was nowhere to be found.

Jake and Quil entered Tyler's house looking distressed, tension rolling off their shoulders.

"Where's Embry?" I asked after hugging the two of them.

"He's sick," Quil spat out, confusion laced in his words. He uttered them in a way that made me believe he was repeating what was rehearsed to him.

"Is he okay?" I asked Jake as we all took seats around the table in the dining room.

My friends had already got a jumpstart on the night and were lost in their own world of beer pong and other games consisting of plastic cups I didn't know the name for. No one noticed us sitting down at the table having our serious conversation.

"He's okay… I _think_," Jake sighed angrily. Their obvious worry was making me nervous.

"You _think_?" I asked him, sitting on the edge of my seat as I waited for him to respond.

Jake took a deep breath. "It was strange and happened so fast. Embry had told us that he hadn't been feeling good but we all just shrugged it off because he looked fine. Then around lunchtime yesterday, he came into the cafeteria looking beyond pissed off. Apparently his teacher gave him a bad grade on one of his papers and that got him all riled up. We tried to calm him down but he just started shaking and swearing. Everyone was staring at us and then that asshole Paul showed up out of nowhere and dragged him outside into his car and drove off before we could do anything about it. It pissed us off because he just kidnapped him without saying anything so Quil and I ran to his house. Then it got weird. We showed up right after my Dad and Harry Clearwater were just walking inside. We tried to get in because we heard Embry screaming and moaning, it was freaking scary. I thought they were torturing him. We were basically shoved out of the house and kicked to the curb with no explanation, just told that he was really sick."

Quil continued on for Jake, "Then Sam showed up with Jared in tow and told us not to worry and to go home, that 'Embry will be fine.' I literally almost pushed his conceited face into a wall I was so mad," he said as he visibly shook. "Then Paul made some snide comments about minding our own business and they closed the door right in our faces. Like Embry isn't our business. It's bullshit, he's our best friend. He's not answering any of our calls and neither are his parents."

What. The. Hell.

"We tired to go back a few times yesterday but were just told to 'fuck off' from Paul. He's literally sitting out on the porch like a guard dog," Jake made a face of disgust at this. He got up from his chair and started pacing the small distance of the table. My worry grew by the second.

"None of this makes any sense, and now Sam and the gang are involved?" I said shaking my head. Embry didn't deserve any of this. He needed his friends, not some jacked up guys he didn't know. If he was just sick, why were they being so secretive and rude about it? I voiced my thoughts. "Why do they think it's any of their business if he's just sick?"

Quil and Jake shared a look of unease, both not having an answer. I sure as hell couldn't come up with any plausible reason for it.

I was silent after that, my mind racing. Jake and Quil continued their conversation about Embry but I was lost in thought.

"We went over to see him again today after school but no one would let us in the house. He's our best friend and those asshole outright refused to let us inside." Quil said as he angrily looked out a window. His fists were clenched in tight balls and I could see his straining tendons protruding out.

"My Dad is no better. He didn't even come home last night, just stayed at Embry's house and told me to watch my back. I don't understanding anything, it's infuriating."

I was pissed off at Billy's involvement in the ordeal. There was something going on besides a kid being sick. What was so important that would cause him to act like this? Somewhere in the back of my mind whispered, _you already know_, but I pushed it out and let on with my annoyance.

Something was wrong and I was going to find out what it was. _We_ were going to find out. I stood up abruptly, causing Jake and Quil to startle a bit at my sudden movement.

"Come on, let's get out of here and see if we can't sneak in his house or something. I'm sure this will all blow over in the next few days and Embry will be back and chipper as ever but in the meantime, let's see if we can lend a hand and get him away from those delusional people."

I drove down the road following Jake's directions. They were both quiet, besides the occasional mumble about Sam ruining everything, from Quil. I ignored the nagging feeling in the back of my mind as we pulled up to a small house at the end of a road.

"Stop here," Jake said as he jumped out of the truck as I came to a stop. We walked in silence to the front door. I kept looking around, half expecting Paul to jump up and start screaming profanities at us but as we climbed up the porch, no one came.

I stepped forwards and knocked while we all waited in suspense. A woman in her late forties slowly opened the door after a minute, peeking her head out cautiously. As soon as she saw Jake and Quil standing by my side she visibly relaxed, although her eyes seemed saddened; her shoulders drooping with unseen weight.

"He's not here boys," the woman, who I think was Embry's mom, sighed with grief.

"Where is he then?" Quil craned his neck to see inside, most likely hoping to get a glance of Embry, not believing her.

"He left with Sam a little while ago."

That was all we needed to hear. Jake quickly stormed off down the steps. Quil turned to follow after giving the woman in the doorframe a small, sad smile. I stared at her, trying to see something, anything that would help us, in her eyes.

Instead, I saw myself. I saw what I looked like months ago. I saw someone suffering in silence and feeling hopeless over something she couldn't control.

I didn't want to look anymore so without a word, I went after my friends.

I dropped Quil off at his house first, hugging him tightly while whispering promises I knew I couldn't keep. No one had to say it but I knew we were all thinking along the same lines. Embry most likely wasn't coming back. Quil disappeared inside and when he did, Jake sighed noisily.

I wanted to be happy with my friends again and not think about what happened in the last few days. I wanted to forget.

Jake was silent as I made my way to his house. The drive was fast, as he only lived a few streets away, yet it seemed like a lifetime.

"You know Bella, you're something special," Jake said, disrupting the silence as I stopped in front of his house.

"I'm nothing special Jake, just glad I have friends like you and Quil by my side."

Jake continued after hesitating, "I'm serious though. You're a great, fun, caring person. Thank you for helping Quil and I; most people wouldn't care like you do. Yesterday and today haven't been easy but somehow, you made it bearable. You're just so selfless, it's special. I'm glad I have you in my life."

"I'm glad I have you too, Jake. You're one of the best friend's I have." Jake tensed at the word _friend,_ but quickly shoved it off with a smile. We didn't need to say more.

I drove home deep in thought, still worried for Embry but happy I had people with me.

The next two weeks passed the same as before, minus having Embry at our side. He had made an appearance to Jake and Quil the Monday after the weekend we went to his house. Jake and Quil informed me on everything that happened that day while we were sitting in Jake's garage surrounded by our bike project.

"At first I didn't recognize him. He looked different... he looked like _them_."

"Not to mention that he was following Sam like he was his bitch," Quil said as he chucked a small pebble across the garage. I wasn't that surprised to hear this, especially after the way Sam and his followers acted when he got sick.

"So did you talk to him?" I tried to picture what could have changed Embry so much that caused his friends to barely recognize him. I shuddered as I saw Sam's massive form in my mind.

"We tried. Quil yelled his name across the parking lot but he didn't even turn, just kept following behind Sam."

"It pissed us off that he ignored us so Jake and I ran after him and once we got close, Embry spun around and glared at us. I've never seen him that mad at us before, and for no reason! He told us to 'get lost,' but I wasn't having it so we continued following him, yelling that he couldn't just ditch us for people he doesn't even know," Quil paused, most likely remember the scene I wish to have seen with my own eyes. "Once I said that he started trembling and got in my face and said, 'You don't know anything.' I honestly was scared and I've never been scared of Embry."

"What happened then?"

Jake scoffed, "Sam came and put his hand on his shoulder and pulled him off again. That was it. I tried calling him after but all I got was voicemail. I shouldn't be surprised though, Embry has always tried to fit in with the crowd, I just don't know what _we_ did to piss him off so much. The hostility is unnecessary."

I agreed with him, working over the days before he was sick to see if I could fill in any blanks. I came up empty handed.

The weeks that followed went on the same. The boys only caught sight of Embry in passing and when they did, Embry only glared over at them. They stopped trying to contact him after I told them he wasn't worth being upset over anymore, even though we all knew I didn't mean it. If he wanted to contact us he would. I thought it was pointless to try and get caught up with anything involving Sam.

It wasn't until Wednesday night, almost three weeks after Embry's sickness, that I got a frantic call from Jake, changing everything.

I couldn't understand what he was saying and I started freaking out at how panicked he was acting. Did someone die? I kept hearing Quil's name followed by jumbled words. I made out a low moaning sound in the background.

"Jake calm down, you need to breathe and start over, I don't understand what you're trying to say." The other end of the line was filled with Jakes ragged breaths as he tried to calm himself enough to talk. He repeated what he said rapidly, but more clear so I could catch his words.

"I need you to come down to my house now. We were just playing video games and things got out of hand and we started arguing over something pointless. I was so mad about Embry and everything that happened and I said something out of line to Quil and he started shaking and screaming. I'm scared Bella and I don't want to call my Dad because I'm scared he'll shut me out like last time," Jake choked on his words as a sob was released. My heart broke as I realized the intensity of the situation.

History has a way of repeating itself. Embry's face flashed in my head as I heard Quil scream lowly in the background.

"Jake don't go anywhere, I'm on my way."

I hurried to get to my truck, almost forgetting to turn off the oven with Charlie's half-cooked meatloaf sitting inside. I sped down the road as I thought about Quil.

Pulling up to the house, I threw the truck door open and ran as quickly as I dared inside. I could hear Quil's screams before I even managed to open the front door.

I took in the sight before me with dread: Quil was laying on the floor, withering in obvious pain as he struggled to keep his screaming down. My heart rate sped up. Jake sat next to him, hands pulling at his hair as he stared helplessly at Quil. I rushed over to my friends, adrenaline taking over.

"Holy shit Jake, he's burning up!" I yelled as my hand brushed his forehead. This wasn't normal, Quil needed a hospital now. It was like touching a heated stovetop.

"Bella I don't know what to do. I didn't even mean what I said, I just wasn't thinking and Quil got this look in his face, like he wanted to strangle me. He shoved me once and then fell over screaming. I don't know. I don't know what to do," Jake kept murmuring closing his eyes in distress.

I leapt up making my way into the kitchen, remembering the first aid I was taught in the past. Not 10 seconds after I placed a bag of ice on Quil's forehead did the door burst open, revealing the people we dreaded to see the most.

It was definitely history repeating itself. I made eye contact with Sam, confused about his arrival, but he pushed past me.

"Move," Sam ordered as Paul, Jared and surprisingly Embry quickly followed behind. Billy came into view behind them, nervousness radiating off him. I glared at him.

"The hell I will! Quil doesn't need you bullshit right now so you can all just piss off and leave us alone," Jake screamed, standing at full height as he got close to Sam's face.

"What's going on? What's wrong with Quil and why do you think it involves any of you? He needs a hospital, not some local freakshow parading half-naked around him!" I didn't understand what happened next, as my eyes tried to follow the fast paced scene.

Paul started shaking, letting out a low noise. He stalked in the direction of Jake and I. I took a step back right into Jake's chest as he glared murderously at the two of us. Embry and Jared grabbed his forearms before he got any closer and dragged him out the back yelling along with him, "Fuck off Jake, you're just a stupid boy who gets into business you has no right to! And fuck you too leech-lover!"

They disappeared and a moment later, I heard ripping followed by loud noises. I made move to follow after to confront them, my anger getting the best of me, but was halted abruptly by Billy's wheelchair.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you Bella," I stopped mid-step, turning back around. Sam was leaning over Quil as Jake stood in the corner, glaring with hatred at the man in front of Quil. "Jake, take Bella home. I'm going to deal with Quil."

"What?! Dad, no! Not until I get an explanation." I nodded in agreement, stepping closer to Jake and putting my arm around himt. "You can't just cut me off and leave me hanging like you have been the last few months. Quil is our _friend,_ you can't brush us aside!" Jake started shaking more and more as his speech went on. I squeezed his side and laid my head on his shoulder while he relaxed just a little. As angry as I was, I knew that I didn't want things to get even more out of hand then they already had.

"Jacob Ephraim Black. I won't say this again. Take Bella and get out of here. Now is not the time or the place to discuss this. Leave now and don't come back for a few hours. Quil will be fine, I promise you." Quil let out a loud scream and I cringed. I stood straight and looked directly at Billy in his chair.

"Fine how Billy? Fine like Embry? Ignoring us for no reason? Pushing aside his friends and joining the local gang out of nowhere? That isn't fine. Not to me, not to Jake."

"This is beyond you Bella. It's beyond us all. You need to leave. Now." His parting words lingered in the air, filling it with ominous reasoning. The hairs on the back of my neck rose.

I didn't understand. From Sam's involvement with Quil to Billy practically kicking us out of the house, nothing made sense anymore.

I grabbed Jake's hand a steered us outside, Jake openly glaring from his father to Sam. Billy gave me a tense, small smile in what I think was gratitude.

The fresh air hit both of us as Jake allowed me to drag him into my truck, Quil's screams becoming softer in the distance. I drove to my house, assuming that was the best place to go to wait it out. The ride was quiet, both of us lost in thought and worry for Quil. I truly hoped that Billy knew what he was doing, not just for Quil's sake but for Jake's as well.

When we pulled up, I killed the engine and leaned back in my seat. We sat in silence for hours as the sky grew dark, stars making their way out between the breaks in the clouds. It was almost peaceful.

Eventually, Jake sighed and squeezed his eyes closed.

"Nothing makes sense anymore Bella. I was so angry when my Dad told me to leave. So, so angry. I've never felt that anger before, especially towards my own father. I feel like an alien in my own skin. First Embry and now Quil. God, Quil. I can't imagine what Sam and the others are poisoning him with. My Dad's words from a few weeks ago keep repeating in my head: 'You'll know soon enough.' But I don't know. I didn't know then and I still don't know now. It's killing me." It's killing me too. His sadness poked at my heart.

I didn't know what to say so I reached for his hand that was tugging his hair and held it between my own.

"We'll figure it out Jake. It'll be okay."

But in all honesty, it got worse from that point on. After I dropped Jake off at home hours later, Quil was nowhere in sight. Billy wasn't any help either, only repeating that Quil will be _fine._

The days that followed went on the same and Jake was growing more nervous as the time ticked on.

I was on edge, becoming more distressed in my worry for Quil and Embry. We hadn't seen either of them since that night. No answers were given to us no matter how hard we pushed for them. I couldn't fathom up a reasonable explanation.

Jake tried asking Billy a countless amount but was brushed off everytime. I was angry now. Angry that this happened again to someone we love. It wasn't fair to us. It wasn't fair to anyone.

My friends at school tried to pacify me as I gave them a very nondescript summary on what was happening. I was hardly sleeping, too worried and angry to drift off. I directed my energy in projects: reorganizing my room, then the bathroom, then the family room. Moving the couch here, changing the order of pictures hung on the wall, redecorating the kitchen. It kept me busy but I was still worried. Jake kept me company most of the time; both of us needing the distraction.

The bikes were coming along great, as well as the random other projects we took to filling our time with. I called Quil's phone everyday but got no answer.

Saturday night I decided that Jake and I needed to have fun and get a better distraction from our thoughts. We found ourselves walking the beach with Mike and the others but it was hard to actually enjoy it.

The others didn't actually know how serious things were with Quil and Embry so we thought it better to keep it to ourselves.

Hours later we sat around a fire, passing drinks along. I found myself relaxing as I drank a little bit more than I had in the past. I saw Jake doing the same and pretty soon, we were smiling and laughing as Tyler told a story. For the most part, we forgot about our worry.

"You know Jake, everything will work out in the end," I said as I hugged him closer. We were walking along the shore line then, gazing up at the stars. "Everything always works out in the end."

Jake hugged me back, smiling as he gazed at the stars.

I completely believed what I said.

I just wish I knew how wrong I was when I said it.

**Authors Note:**

**I want to start off by saying sorry that the story may seem to drag in some parts and skip ahead in others. There's a lot that will happen in this story so I don't want to spend too much time on pointless information but I also need to fill in the blanks that lead up to the juicy parts. **

**I also got asked if Bella and Jacob will develop a romantic relationship at some point. Absolutely not. I never liked the Bella/Jake pairing. This is a strictly Bella/Edward story, even if the Cullen's don't make their appearance for awhile.**

**Although, Jake and Bella do develop a deep connection and good friend relationship, better than they had in the books. I'm sticking to the book version of Jake who likes Bella in a different way than she likes him but no other relationship with them besides being friends will happen.**

**Review if you like it, because I want to know if it's actually worth continuing. I hope you're enjoying though, keep reading and wait until the next chapter!**

**cyanidemayhem**


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